“I’m very attached to my son,” Nicki Minaj said about her relationship with her 2-year-old, whom she’s nicknamed “Papa Bear” 

Nicki Minaj is getting candid about her experience with motherhood.

Minaj, 39, expressed in an interview with E! News published Wednesday that she’s had “more anxiety” since becoming a mom.

The “Super Freaky Girl” rapper welcomed her first child, a son whom she’s nicknamed “Papa Bear,” on Sept. 30, 2020.

Because Minaj is very attached to her 2-year-old, she said she often feels like her “heart is being ripped out” every time she is away from him. 

“I remember being in the U.K. and just bawling,” she told the outlet. “And when I try to FaceTime him, I get more sad. So, I try to hold out on FaceTiming him because to then put the phone down is so difficult.” According to Minaj, her son — whom she shares with husband Kenneth “Zoo” Petty — has never had a nanny.

“I’m a Trinidadian woman. Culturally, we’re not really used to nannies and strangers taking care of the babies,” she said. “It’s not a bad thing when moms do it. It’s just that I have to get conditioned. I have to get it out of my mind that it’s a weird thing, because there are tons of celebrities that are doing it and they’re raising amazing children.”

“I hate that I have more anxiety now because you’re like, ‘What if the one time I leave my child, I get that phone call?” she said, adding: “I think moms feel like they have to be perfect.”

When asked if her fears would prevent her from having more children, she added that she would feel guilty if she “didn’t give Papa Bear another sibling or two.”

On his first birthday, she couldn’t help but gush about the toddler.

She shared a carousel of images on Instagram from a Kung Fu Panda-themed party held for him, writing: “On Sept. 30th you turned 1. Mama is so proud of you, PapaBear. You’re the best boy in the whole wide world. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but God bless you, son. Mommy & Daddy will never stop loving you. #KungFuPanda.”

Earlier this year, Minaj shared on The Late Late Show with James Corden that motherhood has changed her completely.

“I think motherhood has made me see more good in people, more good in the universe. It makes you more of a forgiving person,” she explained on the show.

“When I look at my son, I’m reminded that I am so blessed,” she continued. “I realized, for so many women, this is their dream. Their dream is to have a child and not everybody gets that blessing. So when you have a little baby, you are reminded every day like, ‘Oh my God. Thank you God for this little gift.’ “

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